![]() “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”Įxternalized Anger and Internalised Anger It is, therefore, an error to assume being angry infers a character flaw. Truly loving someone does not mean we never feel angry at them, but it means we learn to negotiate boundaries and master the art of forgiveness with grace and compassion. We can love them and be angry at them at the same time. ![]() We can adore them and feel disturbed by some of their behaviors at the same time. In mature love, we know our partner has both merits and flaws. As we mature, however, we would learn to hold both sides of a paradox in mind. For example, children have a hard time comprehending how the person who was nurturing to them could also be mean or unavailable. Highly sensitive or not, children are only capable of thinking in a black or white way. In a childlike form of love, people are either good or evil. In a healthy and authentic relationship, there is room for us to express anger, upsets and complaints. Anger is in fact, a part of a mature loving relationship. The assumption is that if we love someone, we should not get angry at them. With practice, a highly sensitive person can learn to express their needs and frustration healthily and gracefully without resorting to outbursts and violence.Ī highly sensitive person may mistake anger as the opposite of love and affection. When anger emerges, there are many different paths we can take in our reactions, and aggression is only one of them. Many highly sensitive people confuse anger with aggression or violence, but the two are different. Anger just is, and being able to be angry when someone oversteps is a sign of psychological health. In assertive anger, we are harnessing the very human and natural emotion to reinstate our boundaries and fight for our birthrights. When someone oversteps our boundaries, anger teaches us to say no and to protect ourselves. It can be useful if the highly sensitive person can learn to notice it and receive the message anger is trying to deliver to them. Contrary to common impression, however, anger is a natural emotion- not good or bad, it just is, and it serves a function. Highly sensitive people and anger have a complex relationship because many see anger as something bad, something they need to suppress, hide away, or quickly undo. What is Repressed Anger? The Highly Sensitive Person and Anger ![]() Due to traits of their personality, heightened empathy or childhood conditioning, many highly sensitive people have repressed anger, and do not know how to deal with their emotions healthily. The relationship between highly sensitive people and anger is a much-misunderstood topic. With practice, however, one can learn to process and release repressed anger, learn from it and make the best use of it. A person with repressed anger might have immature or aggressive parents and be silenced, shamed, or punished for expressing anger at a young age. Repressed anger usually stems from childhood trauma or social conditioning. Repressed anger can manifest in various forms, including depression, people-pleasing behaviors, paranoia, and passive-aggressive behaviors. Repressed anger is a pertinent topic when it comes to the relationship between the highly sensitive person and anger.
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